


You've Said Your Speech Through Sharpened Teeth.

by con_kwest



Category: GTAV RP, Twitch RP
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Charborgg - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff, Get Together, Hurt and comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining, Zuthar13 - Freeform, kind of??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 11:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20191702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/con_kwest/pseuds/con_kwest
Summary: Ken Tucky proposes a trip with his best friend and things go all pear-shaped. Aka: emotionally repressed criminals don't know how to express their gay thoughts for their best friend.It's inspired by 3 songs:"Monster" by Dodie"I Love You" by Billie Eilish"Let's Get Married" a Bleachers cover by MitskiAlso inspired by the writing and art work of Octonaut and Loarfy!





	You've Said Your Speech Through Sharpened Teeth.

The motel A/C crackles on, blowing chilled air over Ken’s exposed skin, his limbs strewn haphazardly across the bed. He grumbles, lazily tugging the sheets farther onto his side. This earned him an answering groan and the sheets being pulled back to the left.

“No fair…” he pouts, but settles for shimmying under the covers until he’s flush against Jerry’s back. Ken hums, pressing his face into the nape of his neck and inhaling. He smiles to himself when he feels the slight shiver in Jerry’s shoulders. God, he could get used to this. It was a quiet day for the most part, and Ken was relishing in it. Chaos and bank robberies were good and well but even hard working “law breakers” needed a day off. 

Ken wonders if maybe Jerry enjoys times like this, when it’s just the two of them, almost suspended in their own little world for a while. It reminds him of when they sat star-gazing from the wing of a stolen plane, exchanging soft banter and embellished stories of great heists or car chases ending in epic battle. Ken claimed he’s always won those battles, Jerry just chuckled and nodded, looking from Ken’s mouth back to the night sky and sighing. Ken also wonders if Jerry thinks he doesn’t notice little things like that. He knows he’s the comedic relief of the gang and sure he’s no Albert Einstein but he wasn’t that dumb. He definitely wasn’t blind either. 

Sometimes, when he catches him staring, Ken likes to accidentally let his gaze linger a bit too long, quietly waiting for Jerry to realize he’d stopped talking just to see him quickly glance away and stumble on his words to fill the silence. What Ken really wants to do is grab Jerry by that stupid grey mask and smother him with kisses. Real, lips against scarred lips, kisses that would make his Gucci covered foot kick up in the air like in a cheesy rom-com. Ken thinks maybe he likes cheesy. Maybe he likes Jerry. Maybe he lov-

_Shit…yeah, that sounds about right_

Ken’s mind is pulled back to the motel room. Jerry seems like he fell asleep again but he can’t be totally sure. Slowly, his arm moves from its resting place on Jerry’s back to creep around his side and down, hand ghosting over his stomach. He probably couldn’t feel Ken’s hand through the kevlar, right? Ken decides it would be fine either way.

After months of carefully working with Jerry to be okay without 50 pounds of body armor at certain times, he’s gotten him down to just his usual black military pants, thick long sleeved shirt base outfit, as well as a bullet-proof vest, but only to sleep in. The balaclava and mask never come off of course. Ken would give anything to just run his hands over Jerry’s skin, and study him in awe. He hasn’t seen very much of it ever but he knows he’d be in awe, no matter what he looked like underneath it all. After all, it’s _his_ Jerry and he was already perfect. But unfortunately in the morning, Ken sighs just imagining it, all the clunky metal and rubber gear goes right back on.

He gently traces little shapes onto the kevlar vest and thinks about how nice it would be to stay like this forever. What if he and Jerry ran off together somewhere, not forever, but for a while at least? They could eat lunch out on a hill somewhere and he could pretend to not see Jerry staring for as long as he wanted… or maybe he could stare back? Maybe they’d shack up together at night even if they did somehow find a place with more than one queen bed. Ken thought what it might be like if he actually told Jerry what he’s thought for so long. That he’s worth more than a bazillion stolen Tiffany bracelets and that he has the prettiest eyes in Los Santos, no, the world. He sighs like that same world is weighing down on him.

“What’s all that huffing for, buddy?” A sleepy voice breathes. Ken’s arm stiffens around Jerry’s side. He doesn’t mention it though, so Ken relaxes after a hesitant moment.

“Nothin’ Jer. Just uh, thinkin’ about stuff.” 

“Mm… penny for your thoughts?” Jerry muses. The mullet-haired man thinks for a second before blurting out,

“Well, ah, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to take a break. Like a vacation?”

“Wh- huh? I-... what?”

“Really, hear me out,” Ken tries to sound casual. He’s not sure if it worked. “Just the two of us, because you know you’re my best friend, and we could just go somewhere pretty for a few days? Nothin’ crazy, just buddies having fun but minus the big city cops,” Jerry lays there quietly processing. The silence made Ken feel a little too vulnerable and he thought maybe he’d crossed a line. “Y’know it was just silly. Sorry for wakin’ you, Jer,” He starts to roll away, pulling his arm back from where it rests on Jerry’s side, but Jerry is quick to grab his wrist, gently but firmly holding him in place.

“No,” Jerry states without turning to face him. Ken winces and his heart drop just a little. He preferred the silent treatment better, but maybe he needed to make himself very clear.

“It’s fine, bud. I got the message already.”

“No, I- yeah, I mean - shit,” Sighing, Jerry twists around look at his best friend, still holding his wrist. He takes a breath, “What I meant was no, that’s not silly I just… wasn’t expecting that kind of invitation.”

_Oh._

“And, I think maybe that sounds like a sweet deal, Ken. You know I love spending time with you.”

_Oh!_

“Really? Shucks Jer Bear, me too” Ken bursts into a big toothy grin that makes his whole face light up. Jerry can practically hear his heart rev like a getaway car. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into Ken all of a sudden but Jerry knows he wants to keep him this happy for a very long time. Maybe forever. He wants to keep Ken feeling like he deserves the world. He’d tell him one day too, if he wasn’t so absolutely terrified of losing him altogether. 

Intrusive thoughts flood his mind and suddenly a trip seems like a horrible idea. The thought of having Ken all to himself for a weekend makes his chest ache and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide how obviously in love he was. All he could think of was Ken’s kind beautiful face, pity and fear in his eyes as he inevitably walked away.

_He’s too good for you. You’ll scare him away and lose him for good._

Jerry wants to smash something against the wall and scream. He doesn’t even realize how tense he’s become, or that he’s still holding onto Ken, now with a vice grip.

“Shit, Jerry ease up a little,” Jerry snaps back to the moment, quickly dropping Ken’s wrist like it scalded him. Panicked eyes dart up to see what looks like fear and confusion on his face.

_You hurt him. Monster._

“Fuck! God, I’m- I’m so sorry Ken, I- you know I’d never- I’m sorry I’m so-” Jerry flinched as Ken placed a hand on the side of his mask.

“Hey, listen to me,” another hand came up to rest on Jerry’s chest, “you didn’t hurt me. Just tell me what’s going up here, okay?” He taps the mask with his pointer for emphasis. Jerry tries to steady his breathing but it’s hard when his mind was racing and suddenly Ken’s hands are on him and he’s so damn gentle and concerned, it almost makes him cry. Instead he focuses on keeping a straight face again, and he just barely succeeds. Ken doesn’t buy it for a second but lets him process nonetheless.

“I’m alright. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just thinking maybe you should go with someone else”

“But you just said -”

“I know. Buddy, I know what I said, but wouldn’t you rather spend it with someone else? I’m sure Randy knows someplace nice,” He bargains. Ken’s heart twists the wrong way.

“Why wouldn’t I want to go with you?” He all but whispers. It was all too much. Apparently Jerry didn’t even need to go on the trip to reach his tipping point, because here was Ken all puppy eyed and confused and very much still touching him, in a way, and it took everything he had not to figuratively spill his guts and make a fool of himself. 

“Listen you don’t want me along, but I’m sure Randy or Robot would be-”

“Stop saying that!” Ken sits up, face burning. “I didn’t say I wanted to go off with fucking Randy or Robot or anyone else. I want _you,_” his voice breaks on the last word. He desperately wishes it hadn’t. “Just tell me the truth Jer,” Ken sighs, exasperated. He grips his knees so hard his knuckles turn white, just to stop his hands from shaking. He knows he crossed a line somewhere and assumes Jerry is trying to let him down easy by avoiding his question.

_He wants the truth?_ Jerry thinks, _fuck, he knows._

He considers making another excuse and running, giving him time to think this through, but his body armor and boots are all on the couch, and god dammit if Ken doesn’t look like a fucking kicked puppy right now. He couldn’t find it in himself to hurt Ken even more than he already has. So, he steels himself for the inevitable. It burns worse than any gunshot Jerry’s ever taken but he figures he deserves this.

“I-” Jerry props himself up, feeling breathless. He stares down at hands, not ready to see the look on his best friend’s face as he’s rejected. Fuck it, “I can’t go with you, Ken, ‘cause I’m in love with you, and- and I don’t think I could handle going without making it weird for you and it’s fine if you don’t wanna-” Jerry feels like his throat is closing up and lungs are collapsing because half of what he’s saying is so strangled it barely makes any sense. The pounding of blood in his ears is overshadowed by Ken’s hysterical sobs. He whips his head up and he’s met with those big brown eyes, hurt and confused and crying,

“Ken, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I should leave,” 

“Jer-” he breathed,

“Please you don’t have to say anything I’m just gon-”

“Jerry!” Ken grabs his hands, both of them shaking just a little. Jerry really looks at him this time. His cheeks puffy and eyes still red and teary, but he was smiling. Jerry’s mind turns to static noise trying to process what exactly was happening. Ken just kept smiling and crying. 

“Say it again”

“I- What?”

“Say it again,” He squeezed Jerry’s hands ever so gently, “_please._”

The static noise turns itself up about 5 notches louder, then, slowly but surely, he can think again, and he thinks he understands. Jerry takes one more deep breath, almost as if he was giving Ken more time to change his mind or tell him to leave after all. 

“...I love you.”

“Again, Jer?”

“I love you.”

“Again?” Ken smiles at the masked man so fondly it sets everything inside him on fire.

“Ken, I love you but I’m dying here, please say something.”

Ken lets out a soft laugh and lets go of gloved hands to drag his hands over tear stained cheeks. This time his hands go back to frame Jerry’s mask as he leans toward him,

“You have no _idea_ how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.”

Jerry’s sure his heart stuttered because Ken was… kissing him? Well, he was kissing the mask, which at this point was his face. It should feel strange but it doesn’t, not when Ken kisses him like it’s where he’s always belonged. If Ken’s being honest he’s never wanted to be anywhere else. Nothing has kept them apart before; not jail, or near death experiences, or the devil himself. Jerry was Ken’s home and he’s always found his way back.

“I love you. So much. You big. Beefy. Bastard” Ken practically purrs between kisses. Gloved hands find their way around Ken’s waist and pull him closer. Ken takes advantage of his new proximity and gingerly shifts one hand just above the neckline of Jerry’s shirt to cautiously trace his fingers over the sliver of exposed clavicle. Jerry grips Ken by the hips, holding him there mostly to ground himself, and drops his head onto his shoulder, sighing heavily. Emotional whiplash is very real and he feels like he was just prescribed a double dose, so he needed a second to breathe. 

“You good, Jer-bear?”

“Hah, yeah bud, just recovering,”Jerry nods, shaking Ken slightly. He takes another moment to take it all in. The warmth of mid-morning sunlight warming the cold room, his hands gripping Ken’s white shirt, the gentle rise and fall of Ken’s breathing. If he focuses hard enough he can even faintly hear Ken’s heartbeat. 

Ken tries his hardest to be patient and not scare the shit out of Jerry with how badly he wants to pounce on him, considering the roller coaster of emotions they just put each other through. Eventually Jerry pulls back just slightly to look him in the eyes again.

“We’re a couple of dumbasses, huh?” Jerry laughs, softly at first, then with his whole body. It’s infectious and soon they’re both laughing like nothing was ever wrong in the first place. Ken’s laughs rack through his body so hard he has to lay back down to keep himself from falling off the bed entirely. 

“So,” Jerry slides back down the bed, propping himself up on his side to face Ken, “where are we going?”

\--------

**Author's Note:**

> Doing my civil duty in trying to create content for this tiny fan base. The title is lyrics from "Monster" by Dodie btw!  
please go check out Loarfy and Octonacht on Tumblr!! Their art is amazing  
I don't own these characters! They belong to Twitch streamers Charborgg and Zuthar13.


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